


Sweet Suite Room

by EasySquishy



Category: Highlight | Beast (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 07:04:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11225790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EasySquishy/pseuds/EasySquishy
Summary: I’ll be your sweet suite roomBaby take a breakSoftly close your eyes, come a little closerBaby don’t think about tomorrowDon’t think about anythingIt started with "hi" on that snowy day of December. My heart had just been broken. The ex had left with no word, I suppose I wasn't worth a reason to leave behind. She didn't know what had happened. We weren't well acquainted, but she had no shame and laughed at me with the way I ate my chicken. I loved chicken and I ate through skin and chewed meat off the bone clean every single time. She laughed. It sounded wonderful.





	Sweet Suite Room

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty much a random one. It just popped in my head and I just had to write it down. This is written in Doojoon's perspective. I don't think it's amazing or anything. ><

Sometimes I find myself in the darkest and deepest slump. As others would put it, "it was just one of those days". Days where you were sad for no reason. They named that, what was that term? I wracked my brains for it but, I knew there wasn't much I could do about it. Sometimes these days lasted for a week or two. It was horrible. Getting out of bed and doing what I needed to do was both a saving grace and a chore. I say saving grace, because it took my mind off of it but I didn't feel any drive or motivation to exceed in what I was doing. It's days like these that I wished for something good to happen, I was begging for one. 

There were days where I've gone in too deep. Too deep that I felt that hopeless feeling of not being able to rise above all of it like I used to. I needed help. Someone, anyone. If anyone could just reach into the darkness and pull me from the bottom, oh, how I would love the feeling of it all.

I've refused to speak about these feelings. Mainly because they all think it's drama and that I'm just thinking too much and not looking around for the "positive" side of life. They don't understand. I. Can't. Do. That. Not because I don't want to, but because I don't have the ability to. 

I think I'm depressed.

But didn't they say that depression, should you be able to identify that you are, it isn't true? I don't know. I'm not sure. All I know is that I don't want to exist, that I'm trap in this gray area. A terrible grey area that dictates you to live your life so emotionless. A void with nothing in it. No sadness, no hurt, no happiness. Nothing.

I bounce from being myself to not being myself in almost a split second. There are better days. Days where I can face people and interact like a normal person can. There are days where I can get up in the morning and do what I have to and get by. But these are minimal. Often times I find myself back in that empty void.

Then she came along.

She knew patience like it was her mantra. She knew true kindness and she knew how to keep a level head.

It started with "hi" on that snowy day of December. My heart had just been broken. The ex had left with no word, I suppose I wasn't worth a reason to leave behind. She didn't know what had happened. I just knew she was a friend of a close friend so I knew I shouldn't be too rude. I was good at pretending that I was okay. We went for beer and chicken, my favorite, and by chance she loved to eat just like I did. I appreciated that. We weren't well acquainted, but she had no shame and laughed at me with the way I ate my chicken. I loved chicken and I ate through skin and chewed meat off the bone clean every single time. She laughed. It sounded wonderful. 

After that meal and random conversations we decided to go for a walk. She talked about a lot of things, I listened and maybe once in a while I'd put in my own thoughts. She never forced me to talk. She never asked why I said so little. The pressure of socializing lifted from my shoulders and I relaxed. From talking and laughing, we ended up against each other in a casual game of snowballs. A wager of who loses would treat the next meal. That only sealed the deal that this wasn't a one-time thing. That she wanted my company and enjoyed it.

I haven't laughed like that in ages. I haven't smiled so naturally for a long time. It wasn't instantaneous but I felt myself slowly ascending from the depths of my own despair. I could breathe easier now. I had found a friend.

We spent almost everyday together. We talked about everything. Her life, her relationship, and my blossoming one. She gave me the strength to fix myself enough that I could try again. She easily was my best friend.

Just as life was turning up for the both of us, it started crashing back down. Her and her relationship and mine with my relationship. I never liked the guy she dated. He was a jerk but I held my tongue, but she knew I didn't approve but was happy enough that I didn't do anything to him. Of course I wouldn't, I respected her decision. The guy treated her badly. Always too busy and when she asked for time, he'd call her clingy. She wouldn't see him for weeks and yet he did nothing to ease her fears or her hurting heart. On days he wasn't around, I'd spend time with my best buddy. I tried to make her feel less alone. In a way, that was how I kept running away from my own pains.

I dated a guy. I guess that makes me gay? Maybe bisexual? I dated a girl prior to this one. I didn't really focus on that point. I just went where my heart took me and it took me to him. At first things were magical. Sunshine, rainbows and pots of gold. Sex, intimacy, kisses and hugs. EVERYTHING. I didn't get that in my previous relationship, and to have that now, I was in heaven. But, yep, there's a but, he didn't understand me. He didn't know how to handle me. I tried. I compromised. He couldn't understand that when I fall quiet, it meant that I just needed a little time to process my own thoughts. He wanted everything "now" and if it wasn't given, he'd say all sorts of things to me. It hurt. I tried to fix things by changing myself. I managed to. We were okay again for a while until we hit another bump. He'd blow up in my face whenever I'd be a little passive aggressive. But he did the same, and much worse than I did. Then when I called him out on that he got so mad. He shoved every single thing I did wrong in my face and then he walked out on me and told me that he's tired of me and tired of us.

I fell back into the depths. Deeper this time around. Deeper I went. I watched him walk away from me and just like that I felt nothing again. I was back in that void. I called her instantly and she didn't hesitate to come and hang out. I told her about what happened, smiled a little and just took a deep breath. No tears. The pain was too much that my brain dictated that my heart should go numb. It did. I felt nothing.

Though me and that guy tried to work it out after it all. He did beg for forgiveness. It wasn't the same. I couldn't be the same and so, the relationship faded. He left without a word and I was back to nothing. Shoved back down my stairs of progress that I worked hard and took one step after the other. Kicked into the darkest days of my life.

It wasn't just "one of those days" for me anymore. It was my everyday. I stopped talking to people but I kept talking to her. She wouldn't let me go off on my own. Even when I was unresponsive. I was sure this time around that I didn't want to exist. I'm sure others were thinking how dumb I am to be like this over a broken heart. Even I thought so but I gave everything and it just broke. It all broke and my world did crumble.

She stayed though.

She and her boyfriend broke up months prior to mine, so she was staying with me almost all the time. We either sat in silence or talked a little. We addressed our own heartache and our own heartbreaks. Hugged and cuddled and finding warmth in each other's embrace. Both of us in our respective depths yet slowly we were each other's light.

She became my world. My strength. My hope. My rock. My angel.

It was then we realized that the person we were looking for all this time, was right in front of us.

We fell in love.

The rest was history. 


End file.
